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If youÃ‚Â have a few years under your beltÃ‚Â , you’ll beÃ‚Â familiar with Red Skelton.Ã‚Â I myself spent many hoursÃ‚Â on the floor, propped on my elbows, ‘too close’ to the TV in the living room with the whole family watching his show. If you are not familiar, Red was a stand up man, who had his own TV comedy show.Ã‚Â Reds humour, may have suggested things for your imagination, but, it was always clean.Ã‚Â
Reds comments on Marriage fit the bill for this category.
Funny how the more things change, the more things remain the same.
RED SKELTON’S RECIPE FOR THE PERFECT MARRIAGE
1. Two times a week we go to a nice restaurant, have a
little beverage, good food and companionship.
She goes on Tuesdays; I go on Fridays..
2. We also sleep in separate beds.
Hers is in California , and mine is in Texas ..
3. I take my wife everywhere,
but she keeps finding her way back..
4. I asked my wife where she wanted to go for our anniversary.
“Somewhere I haven’t been in a long time!” she said.
So I suggested the kitchen..
5. We always hold hands. If I let go, she shops..
6. She has an electric blender, electric
toaster and electric bread maker.
She said “There are too many gadgets, and no place
to sit down!” So I bought her an electric chair..
7. My wife told me the car wasn’t running well
because there was water in the carburetor.
I asked where the car was. She told me, “In the lake.”..
8. She got a mud pack and looked great for two days.
Then the mud fell off..
9. She ran after the garbage truck, yelling, “Am I too late
for the garbage?” The driver said, “No, jump in!”..
10. Remember: Marriage is the number one cause of divorce..
11. I married Miss Right. I just didn’t know her
first name was ‘Always’..
12. I haven’t spoken to my wife in 18 months.
I don’t like to interrupt her..
13. The last fight was my fault though.
My wife asked, “What’s on the TV?”
I said, “Dust!”..
And, as Red always said with a big smile “God Bless”