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The use of, and indeed the creation of a pun, is generally perceived as a sign of intelligence.
Lets see how your IQ stacks up with these creative quips..
I wondered why the baseball was getting bigger. Then it hit me.
Did you hear about the guy whose whole left side was cut off?
He’s all right now.
The roundest knight at King Arthur’s round table was Sir Cumference.
The butcher backed up into the meat grinder and got a little behind in his work.
To write with a broken pencil is pointless.
When fish are in schools they sometimes take debate.
The short fortune teller who escaped from prison was a small medium at large.
A thief who stole a calendar got twelve months.
A thief fell and broke his leg in wet cement.
He became a hardened criminal.
A bicycle can’t stand alone; it is two tired.
A will is a dead giveaway.
Time flies like an arrow; fruit flies like a banana.
A backward poet writes inverse.
In a democracy it’s your vote that counts.
In feudalism, it’s your Count that votes.
A chicken crossing the road: poultry in motion.
If you don’t pay your exorcist you can get repossessed.
With her marriage she got a new name and a dress.
Show me a piano falling down a mine shaft and I’ll show you A-flat miner.
When a clock is hungry it goes back four seconds.
The guy who fell onto an upholstery machine was fully recovered.
A grenade fell onto a kitchen floor in France, resulted in Linoleum Blownapart.
You are stuck with your debt if you can’t budge it.
Local Area Network in Australia: The LAN down under.
He broke into song because he couldn’t find the key.
A calendar’s days are numbered.
A lot of money is tainted: ‘Taint yours, and ‘taint mine.
A boiled egg is hard to beat.
He had a photographic memory which was never developed.
A plateau is a high form of flattery.
Those who get too big for their britches will be exposed in the end.
When you’ve seen one shopping center you’ve seen a mall.
If you jump off a Paris bridge, you are in Seine.
When she saw her first strands of gray hair, she thought she’d dye.
Bakers trade bread recipes on a knead to know basis.
Santa’s helpers are subordinate clauses.
Acupuncture: a jab well done
Police were called to a day care where a three-year-old was resisting a
Thieves who steal corn from a garden could be charged with stalking.
We’ll never run out of math teachers because they always multiply.
When the smog lifts in Los Angeles, U.C.L.A.
The math professor went crazy with the blackboard. He did a number on it.
The professor discovered that her theory of earthquakes was on shaky ground.
The dead batteries were given out free of charge.
If you take a laptop computer for a run you could jog your memory.
I do not enjoy computer jokes . Not one bit .
I changed my i Pod name to Titanic. It’s syncing now .
When chemists die, they barium .
Jokes about German sausage are the wurst ..
A soldier who survived mustard gas and pepper spray is now a seasoned veteran .
I know a guy who’s addicted to brake fluid . He says he can stop any time ..
How does Moses make his tea ? Hebrews it ..
I stayed up all night to see where the sun went. Than it dawned on me .
This girl said she recognized me from the vegetarian club, but I’d never met herbivore ..
A guy got arrested for playing the guitar. For fingering A minor .
I’m reading a book about anti-gravity . I can’t put it down .
I did a theatrical performance about puns. It was a play on words .
They told me I had type A blood, but it was a Type-O.
A dyslexic man walks into a bra ..
PMS jokes aren’t funny, period ..
Why were the Indians here first ? They had reservations ..
Class trip to the Coca-Cola factory . I hope there’s no pop quiz .
Energizer battery arrested . Charged with battery ..
I didn’t like my beard at first . Then it grew on me ..
How do you make holy water ? Boil the hell out of it !
Did you hear about the cross eyed teacher who lost her job because she couldn’t control her pupils ?
When you get a bladder infection, urine trouble ..
What does a clock do when it’s hungry? It goes back four seconds .
I wondered why the baseball was getting bigger. Then it hit me !
Broken pencils are pointless.
I tried to catch some fog. I mist.
What do you call a dinosaur with extensive vocabulary? A thesaurus ..
England has no kidney bank, but it does have a Liverpool ..
I used to be a banker, but then I lost interest ..
I dropped out of communism class because of lousy Marx ..
All the toilets in New York’s police stations have been stolen. Police have nothing to go on.
I got a job at a bakery because I kneaded dough.
Haunted French pancakes give me the crepes ..
Velcro – what a rip off !
Cartoonist found dead in home. Details are sketchy.
Venison for dinner? Oh deer!
Earthquake in Washington obviously the government’s fault ..
I used to think I was indecisive, but now I’m not so sure ..
Be kind to your dentist. He has fillings, too ..